Frustration within the Happiness

Frustrated by the judgments around me
Isolated by the decisions that I make
Just like everyone else...
I am happy in my frustration
Because in this frustration
My decisions are my own...
I wish they would just ask
Instead of speculate...
Then maybe, maybe they would understand specifically me
Opposing the general me as if I were everyone else including them...
A wish - just like everyone else...
Then I guess generally they are just like me and I am only the mirror...
They mirror me...
My thoughts randomize in order to try over-standing what They think of me...and why..
A conversation in the mind - cognitive, non-verbal...
I wish it were verbal...
Maybe it will be-
But not before
Not before the frustration within the happiness is removed and replaced-
Replaced with serene love and understanding of the individual
And not a generalization

Film In Progress

I have decided to stop being mad at my College for wasting my time and loans.  I have a degree that must be finished.  I will take my career into my own hands.  I know what needs to be done.  And my body is already used to staying up until five in the morning.  So, tonight, at 1:46 A.M. I'm going to go to sleep now.  But tomorrow night/late night, it's down to business.  why waste time being up to watch television?  I've studied every show that I love.  I can see the cuts.  I can see the mistakes.  I admire the transitions and make mental notes about what I would like to try and a different set of mental notes of what not to try.  So all I have to do now, is allow myself to try.