*"The Sound of Silence"

when silence surrounds me, it is loud. but only when i don't want it.
silence can bring peace but peace is disrupted once the inner soul realizes
that solitude is real.
but sometimes there is a thing called "too much" and too much is just much too much.
i am not alone nor do i feel lonely.
but my solace has turned itself against me
beating down on my walls that i took so carefully to, to build.
(pause) my thoughts are racing faster than i can type
and internally there is a voice shouting
"Slow Down!  Woman Slow Down! (sigh) That's how you get hurt."
"Learn," it says to me, "learn to value you above all but learn to love all above you.
because only then will you learn what true love is."
This voice....it does not mean stalk, or **macko, or control....just, love.
but there is a reason i am awake. the irony -  i am asleep.
not a literal sleep but...anyway, just think about it.
it is the silence, that wonderful taunting sound of silence
that remains my overbearing reminder
that i am asleep while i am awake.


*though the song by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel was playing in my head, this has nothing to do with the song.
**to mind other people business but in a nosy unethical way (something to that effect)