Wednesday, December 21, 2011

rehab necessary

Sitting in my little cube thinking i need to learn to accept situations for what they are and not what I would like to romanticize them to be. if things could be as I want them, "he" (whoever that is) would be right for me. he would be who i want him to be but ironically contradictory who i want him to be is himself. And himself does not fit into my own reality. and apparently i don't fit into his. we both have nothing to offer the other. not in the long run. if it were so easy for things to be just because they could be: there could be world peace; there could be jobs for everybody; there could be food and water to share and money enough to pass around; marijuana not prescribed could be legal. but that doesn't mean that any of it is going to happen. What could, should, and would happen are all different things.

I was laughing at myself the other day. Big and bold I say every day about 5x a day, "Thy will be done..." and I had to laugh because the hypocrite in me refuses to accept that there is no "Anandi's will be done..." in that prayer. And when Thy will is done, I'm complaining that it's not good enough. Lol. How rude?!?

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