2012, the end of the world?

2010 was the worst year of my life. so bad - i won't even talk about it. 2011 came into my life and things changed drastically. shit still happened and went wrong but mentally i was elsewhere. far past 2010. and yet traces of it remain with me. i set myself up on these emotional roller coasters and a few weeks ago i had the best dream ever. i dreamed the roller coaster broke. i said good bye to relationships that didn't work and i got off. i got off the roller coaster. >sigh & pause< i'm happy about that.anyway... so 2011...my leading lady, The Leading Lady of my life passed away. My Grandmother. And with her death, All My Children was canceled; Oprah AND Regis retired; and the corner store on St. John's and Washington burned down. Lol : / i know it sound tsilly but it just feels that - idk what it feels like. maybe i'm just missing my lady. i'm not disrespecting her by missing her. There are ppl in my life who are alive and sometimes i miss them too. >pause< if 2012 is to be the end of the world i wouldn't be ungrateful for the life i've had. not even ungrateful for the fucked up shit i've endured. that's all a part of life. i have more than a lot to outshine the shit. i digress. if 2012 were to be the end, i'd be sad/pissed. we as God's children aren't supposed to want to remain on this earth, in these bodies. but there are still some things that i want for myself. things i still want to experience. i may not be curious about a lot, but life, i'm curious about that. lol. some ppl have strict goals in life. they know exactly what they want to do, some actually get it done, some look forward to a pension. my goal in life is just to enjoy it. so yeah i may change relationships and career options like i do my toothbrush but i don't deny myself the chance to enjoy it and give it my all while it lasts. and that may just be my blessing and curse but i am who i am. anyway.... i'm just curious.