Untitled blabber

this is the only place where i find solace now. church is too public. talking takes too much energy. and honestly i just want to be quiet. i understand what my issues are and i have my ways about me, nothing abnorm from anybody else. i think i'll revert to being within my own being. this is not "from him" this is me.... there is no need for websites for me like FBook i was never that curious about ppl and their lives. sounds selfish now that i've re read that. but anyone who knows me will know i didn't mean that in a negative way. but whatehhver. not into modeling anymore. it no longer makes me smile. i like the camera but it no likey me. that's not a misspelling i know what i said. it no likey me. i like being here in the dark just expressing random shit that crosses my mind. but eventually i'll drop this too and go back to writing my feelings down in a book and leaving these public spaces for... well.... public shit. -long pause- was wondering if ppl know i still have a heart. kinda wanna keep it to myself. i was thinking about my girl friend. i had to curse her ass out tonight but she thought i was joking. damn dbl d heffa. (sigh) whatever. i'm going back to Martin. i'm being rude. he's singing to me and all i could do is think about being somewhere else.